WhatsApp social media site: What’s life without WhatsApp

Facebook is a highly successful revenue generating social media site. Facebook also owns Instagram and WhatsApp, the social media site. Facebook’s revenue for the quarter Apr-Jun 2019 is expected to be $16 billion with a profit of US $ 5.40 billion. Facebook’s revenue are slowing down but revenue from Instagram is growing. The only thing which Facebook has not been able to monetise is WhatsApp. WhatsApp is trying a payment gateway model in India which if successful will be implemented worldwide.

Over a period, the younger generation has moved away from Facebook to Instagram while the older ones are still loyal, to it. But the common point between both the generation is WhatsApp.

WhatsApp the social media site

WhatsApp social media site is in the news for all the wrong reasons. It is in news recently for circulating fake news which actually is not true. WhatsApp end-to-end encryption ensures only you and the person you’re communicating with can read what is sent.

Learn more about WhatsApp security on the following link:

https://faq.whatsapp.com/en/android/28030015/

WhatsApp social media site -Tracking a person day and night

Don’t get me wrong but the only way parents can keep a track of their kids is through WhatsApp and vice-versa. WhatsApp comes to your rescue if you are late in a party and have already missed 3 calls from your mom . You immediately type a message saying, “Hi Mom! I can’t take the call. It is too noisy here. I will reach by 1 pm. My friends will drop me. You go to sleep”.

Wives use WhatsApp to keep a track of their spouses. The moment you land at the airport and switch on your cell, you get a message – “Have you reached. Call me when free. I need to speak to you about something important”. You get tensed and forget about the meeting you are heading for. Your mind is only thinking about the important thing your wife wants to talk about. If she wants to go to her parent’s place, it’s ok but if mother-in-law is coming home then what?

Let’s, talk about the various groups on your WhatsApp social media site one by one.

The Good Morning group

This is a group where few dormant members want to make their presence felt by sending Good Morning messages. The messages are in various forms:

Floral pictures

It can be a bunch of red roses or birds chirping on a tree or a blooming garden, etc.

Hindu deities

One glance at the picture and you can guess what day it is; Shankar Bhagwan for Monday, Hanumanji for Tuesday, Sai Baba for Thursday, etc.

The Good Luck wishers

This group believes in forwarding chain messages which most of the time goes out of control as the readers want to try their luck. To get a job or a promotion you just need to forward the message to 7 people in the group and voila your wish will be fulfilled. Well, the luck never comes but what comes is the same message in another group.

The Wikipedia Knowledge bank

People who had moral science classes in their childhood can refresh their memories by reading such messages. The law of Karma or how Karma strikes back is one of the favorite messages. The person who sends the message doesn’t realise that Karma will one day punish him the way he punishes everybody in the morning. People who send these messages need to put their house in order first. After reading the message you wonder whether people who live in glass houses should throw stones on others.

The social media site for Gossip

Gossip Girl Group

There are at least 6-10 of such WhatsApp groups which can be classified under this section. These groups have been created with the sole objective of bitching. You get news updates on maids (a favourite subject), latest sale at Meena Bazaar, recipe sharing, Bollywood updates, etc. There can be subgroups like Kitty party groups or Home Cooking groups, etc.

Forced Family Group

You never wanted to be a part of this, but the group admin of WhatsApp is an idiot and added you to the group. Now you have to keep liking the pictures of your distant Bhabhi who has this habit of clicking 10-15 selfies in a day and sharing it on the group. You don’t like a single click but still have to put a thumbs-up sign with a comment “Wow Bhabhi where did you buy this new red top from. You look great in it”.

The social media site for Anger Management

The Anger Management group

This group is a subset of the Forced family group minus a few members who have left the group. Such members need to take anger management classes. The reason for their leaving the group are plenty like – they were not called for a recent get-together or people forgot to wish him/her on his birthday. Members tend to ignore his/her selfies and hardly put a thumbs-up.

The group admin on public pressure decides to add the member back. However these touch-me-not people don’t realise that WhatsApp groups are like a one-way street. You can enter it but never exit. Everyone remembers the famous dialogue by the actor Iftekhar to Amitabh Bachchan in the movie Deewar when he wanted to leave the underworld – “Yaha aana to aasan hai par jaana na-mumkin”.

The Core Family Group

This is a group created to keep the blood relations abreast with all the latest happenings within the family and friend circle which can’t be discussed on any other platform. Mom, Dad, Daughter, and Son are part of the WhatsApp group. The day of the group starts with Mom wishing her kids Good Morning but getting a reply only after a couple of hours. Fathers come into the picture if there is a financial requirement or a crisis management issue.

The Adult WhatsApp Group

The names of these WhatsApp groups are inspired by James Bond movies like “For your eyes only”, “The spy who loved me”, ‘From Russia with love”, “On her Majesty’s secret service”. etc. I don’t need to elaborate on the content part but it is very original.

The Office Group

Nobody wants to be a part of an official WhatsApp group, but everybody is supposed to follow the Bosses diktat. One normally mutes this group as it is active day and night. The Boss, who thinks he is livewire, has this habit of sending quotes of great leaders’ day-in and day-out. You just keep thinking that if your boss would have followed even 10% of these messages, your life would have been a much-sorted one. This group reminds you of the slave dynasty of 12th century. Even an idiotic message forwarded by the boss gets a thumbs-up from the entire group.This is the only group where Microsoft Excel sheets are exchanged. There are various sub-groups of office groups like:

The Farewell group

It has a short shelf life and is created with the sole objective of collecting contributions from the members. If you are in the group be prepared to shell out even if you have to take a salary advance. The contributions are directly proportional to the designation and years of service put in by the departing soul.

The Birthday group

This group has the same objective as farewell except that the purpose is different. The contribution covers the pool-in lunch + the gift.

The Ex-employees group

This group comprises of all the employees who were once working under the same umbrella but now have mushroomed to different companies. The target of this group is just one person – the weird Boss because of which these people had to leave. This group is a platform to vent out ones frustration with the ex-company, its policies and the defunct HR department. The motto of this group is that “Friends in need are Friends indeed”.

The Friends group

The most lively amongst all the WhatsApp groups. There are no egos and false pride. You can share jokes and express your point of view and nobody will judge you.The members of the group spend half the time planning a get-together with a 5-10% success ratio. This is the best group to relive old memories. The men tend to discuss the scotch, kebabs and ??? . On the other hand the women in the group discuss their in-laws and kids over wine and vodka.

The Party group

This group is created solely for parties and get-togethers. The message exchanged range from dress code to snacks and drink menu. This is the group that uses the location feature on WhatsApp to the maximum. There are times when a sub-group is created solely for the purpose of pooling-in money to buy a gift.

I can’t list down all the groups but there are lots and lots of them like School groups, College friend groups, Meet over Coffee groups, etc. And Beware! You have just been added to a new WhatsApp group.

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Acknowledgement:

The Economist: June 8th 2019 / Topic - A global timepass economy, Page - 21