The weak wifi signal that makes you go weak in your knees

Our life has become so much dependent on the wifi signal  that it’s difficult to imagine a house without broadband. A family can survive without water for a day but not without wifi. Technology may leap from one generation to next – 3G to 4G to 5G but when it comes to the wifi signal we are still living in the stone-age.

200 Mbps speed, optical fibre, 4G are sales spiel that the broadband company gives you to hook on to their network. But when you discover that the wifi signal strength on your instrument is only half you realise that your service provider is from the third world.

There are few problems in the world to which even God doesn’t have an answer. The wifi signal is one of them. Despite being the best service provider your telecom company connects an optical fibre that delivers a weak signal by the time it reaches your home. It’s like water pressure which is lowest in the house at the end of the street.

We will soon get tuned to the 5G world which means 100 times faster speed than the current 4G technology. 5G is in the news because of controversies surrounding a Chinese firm called Huawei, a pioneer in the field. But 5G technology will need 3 cell towers to cover the same area which one tower does for 4G. So, despite the high-speed promises, the signal will remain elusive.

The wifi router that fails to emit a strong signal

Every household has a place for a wifi router. The living room is the most commonplace for the wifi router. Well, there is no Vastu behind it! Instead, the internal telephone cable line coming from the roof mostly ends here. Once the wifi router gets stationed on a strategic location, one needs to fix the aerial direction to get a wifi signal in all the rooms.

This is where the problem starts. The wifi signal starts behaving erratically. After all who can change the direction of the wind? There are days when the signal strength is strong and you can watch Netflix uninterrupted in your master bedroom. But such days are limited. Most of the time you end up coming out of the bedroom to reboot the router. If it still doesn’t work you reset the aerial position to get the wifi signal back.

The wifi router is most unfriendly to the kids. The moment daughter finalises a dress on Myntra and is about to make an online payment the signal goes missing. On the other hand, the son has lost so many online games because of the wifi signal that his friends now invite him reluctantly. And if you complain to the service provider be ready to listen to some of the best excuses. The cell tower near your complex is getting upgraded; the cable in your neigbourhood is getting changed to optical fibre; switch off your router and restart it etc.

There are times when out of sheer frustration you sit in the lap of the wifi router to get the signal.

Life is unpredictable and so is the wifi signal

While attending an office Zoom meeting you are surprised to see that the signal strength is at its peak. It seems that both the broadband company and your organisation want you to take a full charge to revive the economy. The official Zoom meetings have a start time but no closing time. To get out of it you wish that your wifi signal behaves the same way it does when you watch your favourite movie. But no! It refuses to die during such an important brainstorm session.

The wifi router understands the difference between official and unofficial Zoom meetings. On weekends when your friends have fixed a chat for a lockdown gossip, the router shows its true colour. It discourages you from gossiping and reduces the signal strength. As a result, your friends are unable to hear your voice or see your video. You spend the first 10 minutes figuring out how to get into the meeting. There are times when the picture freezes with a buffering signal showing poor connection or the voice fade away and you are unable to hear anybody in the group. You get scared hoping that this loss of hearing is not another symptom similar to the loss of smell or taste of COVID 19.

The WhatsApp call

The WhatsApp calls are meant mainly for family groups. It has emerged as one of the most popular communication tools to keep a check on every family member during the lockdown. But the wifi signal proves to be a villain in the digital reunion of the family. If a WhatsApp call is made between 4 family members only 3 get connected. The one who is unable to join is the one whose wifi router is playing erratic.

The others who are enjoying the chat are also not so lucky as a weak signal freezes their frame. Left alone and waiting others to join back you observe yourself in the video. You can see that the lockdown has changed your look completely. On one hand, your hairs have turned grey and on the other, your double chin is turning into a triple one. As the members disappear one by one courtesy the signal, you send a WhatsApp message fixing another time slot.

The case of the missing signal in your Cellphone

It’s a story that is repeated in every household. The moment a cellphone rings you ask the person on the other side to hold for a minute and then look for a strategic location to get at least 3/4^th of a signal. It’s like climbing Finger 4 of Ladakh to get the full signal.

People buying new houses normally check if the rooms are Vastu compliant and whether they get enough sunlight. But I have a suggestion for them! They should first check if their cellphone is getting the cell-tower signal in each of the rooms. Otherwise, they might end up going on the rooftop on the 17^th floor to make a conversation.

Signing off as my wifi signal has started playing hide and seek with me.

You can read  interesting stories on my blog; https://www.theconartistalok.in

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