Salary and Expenses:Two sides of the same coin

Salary is Oxygen

Salary is like a Doctor — **Salary is like Life saving Oxygen**

The importance of salary and expenses for any working person is as important as breathing. You inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide to survive. Salary is like oxygen which is vital for your living. In case the salary gets delayed, a person feels suffocated and may have to be put on life support. He may need blood (call it money) in the ICU – Income Casualty Unit. The blood (money) in this case may be donated by his close relations and friends. But there is catch! Unlike blood, money has to be returned.

The Government of India is very lucky. Just three days back they got a pre-Diwali bonus of Rs 1.76 lakh crore. The salaried class people on reading this are jealous. They were just dreaming that even if they could have got Rs 1.76 lakh less the crore, it would have changed their life before the festivities.

The best part of this Rs 1.76 lakh crore is that there is no tax deducted at source from RBI’ side. On the other hand while filing income tax, a salaried class is even suppose to mention how much interest he earned on his savings account. That’s the irony!

The Government employees can expect a big bonanza from the Central Government this Dussehra. Read more on the following link:

https://www.businesstoday.in/latest/trends/7th-pay-commission-5-pc-hike-dearness-allowance-reflect-october-salaries/story/372270.html

Salary and Expenses: the cycle continues every month

Salaried people wait for a magical message every 31^stof previous month – 7^th of the month, “Salary credited into your account”. This message energises them just like Pakistan getting energised on getting a fresh tranche of loan from World Bank.

IT department has the first right to your salary — **The TDS virus affecting the salary**

Most people think that it is the lady of the house who has the first right to your salary. But this is a misconception. It is the Income Tax department which gets the first right to your salary. They deduct the tax at source also called as TDS virus. This TDS infected salary then lands into the lap of the Grandpa also known as Provident Fund. Yes, a part of your hard-earned salary goes to the Employee Provident Fund.

The left-over salary which has now shrunk by 20% from the original amount is what lands in your bank.

Salary Credited and Expenses debited

Salaries are bitten by the expense virus — **I will squeeze all the zeros from your income**

Once the money lands in your local bank, you feel at the top of the world. Your account which showed only 3 zeros at the month end suddenly swells by another 2 zeros. So, a figure of 5000 suddenly becomes 1,00,000.

The Hyenas and the Wolves

The Banks are the first ones to lay a claim on your salary — **The Bank EMI’s are suffocating**

But the smell of blood (read money) makes the hyenas and the hungry wolves wake up. The Banks get ready to recover their housing and car loan EMI’s.

On the other hand, the credit card companies start alluring you with your outstanding broken into 6-12 easy EMI’s. Credit card companies know our real worth. They know that a person who has started buying his toothpaste, biscuits and shaving cream also on credit card must be really suffering from post-demonetisation trauma.

The Credit Card companies are like vampires — **Please pay your credit card dues on time**

The Housefly

The most irritating of the lot anyway is your mobile phone companies. Telcos remind you of houseflies. The moment they smell sweet, they start licking all your body parts. They are so desperate to get their share out of your salary that they will start sending you reminders a week in advance. At times you start thinking that for an amount of Rs 500 only how come these telcos send you at least 5-7 sms. For the same sms your bank deducts Rs 15-25 every quarter. But remember in case of telcos, the sms is free. It is their own property or “Baap ki jagir” (Fathers property).

The Telecom companies are the most irritating — **This is the 5th reminder to clear your dues.**

The Girl next door

One thing which has always been of interest to guys is the girl next door especially when she blow dries her wet hair, standing in front of the window. The Garment companies, the shoe stores, the departmental stores, the ladies handbags stores and many more fall in this category. The moment they realise that the 1^st week is coming they will put advertising messages all across. It can be a flier in your newspaper, an ad in the daily newspaper or a roadside hoarding. The message is very clear – there is upto 40% off or a 1+1 scheme.

The department stores lure you into a discount trap — **The Discount festival**

They know that the people living next door are morons and will easily get trapped. So, they just dress up their windows with attractive discounts. It’s like the girl next-door, drying her hair in the sunshine of discounts. The 40% discount bait just needs to be showcased to them and like honeybees they will fall for it. The salaried class, like idiots, who have just received the salary, falls into their trap and visit the stores. Irrespective of how much money they need for the monthly expenses, they will buy the product whether there is a need or not.

The Termite attack

Apart from the bigger fishes who eat up your salary, there are smaller fry’s who will bite the balance into dust. Once you have cleared all your dues by the 10^th, you tend to relax for the rest of the month. After all you have done a pretty good job of saving some amount in the bank.

Salary is eaten by the expense termite — **The invisible bite**

But just like you have 12 zodiac signs, similarly you have 12 such major expenses spread out over the year with one coming every month. In Jan you have the Mediclaim premium, In Feb you have the LIC premium, In March you have tax saving investments. April is for the annual school fees, while May requires funds for family vacation. By the time you reach December, the car premium gets due.

These invisible expenses are like termites. They are never visible to the naked eye but will eat the savings slowly.

Salary finally consumed by expenses

By the time the salary reaches your wife, it is 1/3^rd or 1/4^th the original amount. So in future never tell your spouse that she overspends.

How to manage expenses in such low salary — Honey! Where is the money?

The last trickle from the salary is finally what you get in hand for your expenses. You start thinking that for earning this trickle of water, you had to sweat a bucket of water for the full month.