There are times when I wish I had spend more time with dad

I come from an era when dads were the epitome of strictness and discipline and moms were the quintessential “soft at heart” personalities. Dads had a more business-like attitude while moms were like your next-door friend with whom you could share anything. Making a conversation with dad was difficult while the same was much easier with mom. It was because of his strictness that I avoided spending less time with dad. Mom on the other hand was my favourite as I could speak my heart to her.

Being a no-nonsense person, I could only converse with him on a few subjects like education, career, and sports. But it was not so with mom. One could discuss from love-life to why one scored a low percentage in school or college examination. One of the reasons why I spent less time with dad was that his area of interest was vastly different from ours. Our life in school and college revolved around films, sports, bunking classes, and spending time with friends. On the other hand, dad’s life revolved around family and job. He had a high level of commitment towards both.

Dads of our time were more interested in knowing how our studies were going in school and college and what were the competitive exams we were preparing for. The more we studied the more we scored on their report card. My dad was good at assessing my friends. The ones who were well-behaved and cultured were his favorites and he didn’t mind If I would spend time with them. But then there were the snobbish ones whom he couldn’t stand and would advise me not to spend too much time with them.

Spending time with dad

I started spending more time with dad only when I got into a job. The day I settled in life with a career and a spouse, the communication channels between me and ad became smoother. But still, our conversations were only limited to my job or my kid’s schooling and health.

It’s nearly five years that I lost my dad. There are days when I miss him like anything. Sometimes it seems that dad has just ventured for an out-of-country assignment and will be returning soon. And once he comes back, I would like to sit with him and talk endlessly. Is it only me who thinks like that or is it something that comes to everybody’s mind who has lost a loved one?

Ever since dad retired, he always wanted to spend more time with me. But being a person of few words, he was not a great conversation starter. The moment I would come back from the office he would call me in his room on some pretext or the other and speak to me. It was either related to a bank query or some news linked to my organization. But after a long tiring day in the office, I would avoid making a long conversation and after answering his query would make a quick disappearance.

Why couldn’t I order my evening cup of tea and sip it sitting next to him?Why couldn’t I watch the IPL match with him and discuss the prospect of Delhi winning the title? He was a die-hard Delhi daredevil supporter. It was only an hour from my daily life but for him, it was like an entire day

The precious moments we spent together

It was only on Sundays when both of us would sit outside under the winter sun reading to glory. He would enjoy the gossips of the Sunday magazine of Times of India while and I would enjoy my business magazine. Probably our outlook on life changed. He became more interested in gossips and I became more serious like him only interested in business news and the economy. Maybe that is what the harsh reality of life is. When you have responsibilities in life you tend to lose smile and when you have fulfilled your responsibilities you can always chill with a glass of wine.

Every month he would look forward to the first week of the month. The moment the pension was credited into his account it was time for him to pay a visit to the bank. Mom would always object to his frequent visits to the bank but he always ignored it. He would ask the driver to take him to his bank in RK Puram sector 1 in New Delhi. The pretext of going to the bank was either to get a bank statement or for passbook updating or pick Form-16 for tax return.

I would often tell him that I can manage everything through his net banking but he just ignored my advice. He would often ask me to drive him to the bank but I would always excuse myself from the situation saying I had some prior commitment.  It was later I realised that all those outings were like a rejuvenation session for him. He would chat with my driver throughout the journey showing him his office building, the vegetable market, and places he would visit in his younger days.

A wish of spending time with dad that I know will never get fulfilled

If only I had driven him through those routes, I could have conversed with him on topics of his interest something that I still repent. I would have loved to see his office building even if he would have shown it to me the umpteenth number of times. I would have stopped the car midway and taken him to his favourite grocery shop in Yusuf Sarai market in South Delhi and watched him haggling with the vegetable vendors on Cauliflower’s price.

The precious time when he was eager to speak to me, I wasted in building my career. If only he could come back just once in my life, I would watch all those IPL matches with him cheering for his favourite Dhoni. Would listen to his favourite Jagjit Singh ghazals and Mohammed Rafi songs.

The last walk in the forest

He was very fond of his morning walk and would go to Jahanpanah city forest in GK-II every day without fail. Not once did I accompany him on his walk even though a walk was also a part of my daily routine. I could have easily adjusted my time slot and walked with him talking about family matters, discussing cricket, or Indian politics.

His one last wish that I could never fulfill was travelling in Delhi Metro. I had promised him that once he comes back home after his knee replacement surgery I would myself take him around Delhi in the Metro. Unfortunately, he could never step in the metro even after a successful surgery. Maybe the new knees were ready to take him to someplace far away.

Read more such stories on my blog. Click on the following link:

Father the best batsman in the world to play Cricket

I love you dad for you are the strongest person in my life

The caring dad whose shoulders never get tired