The pain of losing the loved ones: An injury that will never heal

I would have started the story by adding “a” to my story’s title, i.e., the pain of losing a loved one. But the months of April and May have been full of personal tragedies where families have lost not one but many of their loved ones. It seems that the news of losing loved ones will never stop. People dreaded opening WhatsApp or their social media page as they were flooded with news about people who lost their lives fighting covid.

It was overwhelming to see a picture of a young husband who lost the fight at the age of 46. On the other hand, seeing a mother lose the battle to covid leaving behind two young children was too painful to absorb. There was just one question in everybody’s mind on when will this come to an end.

This is a story of a family that lost 3 close members within a month’s time.

The 20^th marriage anniversary

It was Dolly and Arvind’s 20^th marriage anniversary and the celebrations were scheduled for 5^th April. Dolly’s parents had come from Lucknow to attend it. The 20^th anniversary is a big milestone in a marriage. Arvind’s parents who were visiting their daughter in Australia could not join the celebrations but watched it on Zoom.

Priyanka, their 18 years old daughter had organized a small function at home with a limited number of guests. The news that the second wave of covid is back was keeping people at home. Priyanka had ordered a cake from a neighborhood pastry shop in Gurgaon. Dolly, a great chef had prepared a lavish meal for the guests. There was poori, aloo ki sabzi, matar paneer, peas pulao, and rice kheer. Dolly’s parents presented both of them with an expensive watch to commemorate the occasion.

A couple of days after the celebrations Dolly noticed that his father was coughing in the morning. She immediately went to his room saying that we should not ignore the coughing and consult a doctor immediately. They took a video consultation with a general physician who advised them to get an RT-PCR done. Along with it, he prescribed a week’s course of covid medication.

Getting an RT-PCR of the loved ones

The RT-PCR report was delayed by a couple of days as the labs were overloaded with covid samples. Despite the medication, Dolly’s father’s condition started deteriorating. On the 5^th day, his oxygen level dipped to 83-84. The family physician asked them to rush dad to the hospital.

Arvind took out his car and Dolly accompanied her father. All three of them reached the nearest hospital in Gurgaon. They were lucky to get him admitted to an emergency ward. The doctors straight away put him on an oxygen concentrator for supplementing the oxygen levels. By evening the doctors told Dolly that his dad is responding but they will shift him to an ICU for better care. Dolly heaved a sigh of relief and came back home with Arvind.

It was 3 am when Dolly got a call from the hospital. With so many negative thoughts crossing her mind she picked up the phone. The hospital authorities asked her to rush to the hospital as her dad’s condition had worsened. Dolly went to the bedroom to wake up Arvind but was shocked to see that Arvind was running a high fever. She asked her daughter Priyanka and mom to take care of Arvind while she rushed to the hospital in an Uber.

The pain of getting the loved ones admitted to the hospital

The distance of 5 km to the hospital seemed unending. Getting out of the cab she rushed to the third floor of the hospital. The guard outside the ICU stopped her but the doctor on duty allowed her entry to the ICU only after she wore a PPE kit. Dolly saw her dad lying motionless on the ICU bed with ventilator support. The doctor told her that they have tried their best but his dad is just not responding to the treatment and maybe the time has come to say a final goodbye. It was a painful moment for Dolly.  Wrapped in a PPE kit she couldn’t even hug her dad or hold his hand. The eyes through which dad showed her the world have closed forever.

Dolly was heartbroken. How can God be so cruel to her? Just a week back she was celebrating her anniversary with dad. He was laughing and singing enjoying every moment of togetherness. Being the only child she was very close to dad. He was not only her counselor and guide but also a friend. There were times when she took advice on her personal life from dad and not from mom. Who will guide her from now onwards?

She called Priyanka at home to inform and also check on Arvind’s situation. Priyanka was all in tears. She told mom to come home soon as dad was not able to breathe properly. Dolly rushed home and seeing Arvind’s condition, she called for an ambulance. With great difficulty, she could arrange one.

A second visit to the hospital

Sitting in the ambulance and rushing to the hospital the second time, the sound of the siren seemed like a bad omen. Dolly instructed Priyanka to stay at home while her mom accompanied her to the hospital. Arvind got admitted to the same hospital and in the same ICU. It was an irony to see the hospital authorities making a new bed for Arvind after sending dad’s body to the mortuary.

Dolly had to perform the last rites of her dad. Being a covid patient she had to take dad’s body to a covid crematorium in Gurgaon. Dolly’s friends managed to get an appointment at the cremation ground for the next day. The next morning Dolly was accompanied by a few close relatives and friends to the cremation ground to bid a final farewell to her dad. With a cap on the number of people, only a handful of relatives and friends were there to console her at the cremation ground.

While coming back from the cremation ground Dolly was just praying for Arvind’s recovery. On the way, she dropped at the hospital to check on him. But she could only watch from the side glass of the door as it was a covid ward. Seeing Arvind on a ventilator the picture of her dad on the ventilator just crossed her mind. Just a day back the doctors had told her that her dad was recovering well. So what happened in 12 hours that he lost the battle. She desperately wanted Arvind to fight this war.

Consoling the loved ones

On reaching home Dolly took a bath, a part of the post-cremation ritual. She sat with her loved ones and tried consoling them. Mom was trying to hold her tears. She didn’t want to show the granddaughter the weaker side of hers. All three of them were praying for Arvind’s recovery. Lying on the bed Dolly was lost in her thoughts. The pillow was warm but not warm enough like a dad’s shoulder. The tears that would earlier stain a dad’s shirt today were staining the pillow cover.

Dolly didn’t realise when she went to sleep. The mobile kept ringing and it was probably the third time she picked up the call. It was the hospital again and this was a call that Dolly was dreading the most. The doctor on the other side informed that Arvind lost the war against covid and they couldn’t save him despite their best efforts.

Is this real or a bad dream?

Dolly couldn’t believe her ears. Can this be real? She just checked on Arvind yesterday at the hospital and he had waived at her. All seemed fine! So what went wrong? And why is God so unkind to Dolly. A day back she lost her father and now Arvind. She was desperately waiting for Arvind to come back home. He was her big support throughout her life. She wanted to mourn her father’s death on Arvind’s shoulder. But now what? Both her support have gone. In absence of her father who will guide her? On the other hand, Arvind, her life-long partner is not there to show her the right path. A visit to the cremation ground with the same rituals to be performed but this time for her husband was the worst moment of her life.

Life is unpredictable

This was a situation that Dolly was unprepared for. The loss of two loved ones left a deep injury that would heal only with time. But she will have to prepare herself for new challenges in life. Arvind used to tell her to learn to drive but she never took it seriously. And suddenly destiny has put her in the driving seat with the steering in her hand to drive through the rough terrains of life. She had no idea of how much savings Arvind had in the banks. Luckily the house was in the name of Arvind and Dolly. What about Priyanka’s studies? From now onwards she will be the caretaker of both Priyanka and her mom.

A week had passed and Dolly was finally coming to terms. She had to console both the loved ones. There was no time for her to grief. But it seemed as if God was still not ok with it.  A week after Arvind’s death his parents arrived back from Australia. Being international travelers they had to quarantine for 2 weeks at home.

The homecoming that ended in a tragedy

It was the last week of April when Dolly had to rush to Dwarka to meet her in-laws. Arvind’s father and mother both had been diagnosed with covid. The father-in-law’s oxygen level had dropped and he had to be rushed to the hospital. After being in the hospital for a week even Arvind’s father also passed away. All of a sudden Dolly had become a caretaker of two elderly ladies in the family. The only consolation for Dolly was that she had Priyanka by her side to support her.

This incident was not limited to only Dolly’s family but a whole lot of families in India.

You can read more such stories on my blog:

The Lockdown was to be a haven and not a way to heaven

Vaccinating people is the only winning move in a game of chess