The Journey of Life with parents by your side

The Journey of Life

There comes a time in the journey of life when we lose the blessings of either or both the parents. This is for all my friends who had to face such a situation. The journey of life is pleasant till the time your parents are driving the family sedan. One of them driving the car and the other giving directions and helping in navigation. Together they make the journey smooth for the kids. Sitting in the back, giggling and laughing, the kids enjoy every moment of  togetherness.

When the journey of life comes across potholes they slow down to save us from any kind of shock. But when on a highway, they speed up to make us reach the destination on time. We as kids are so immersed in the sound of music that we hardly notice the strain of driving on them. But then they are parents and they enjoy only if the kids are singing in the car.

Soon in the journey of life, we lose one of them but still, the journey carries on. The only difference is that the driver and the navigator are now the same. The eldest in the family gets ready to move in the driver position while the spouse becomes the new navigator. You now have the controls in your hand and decide to drive on the same path which your parents had once taken.

On my recommendation do listen to this beautiful Jagjit Singh Ghazal “Chitthi na koi sandesh” with beautiful lyrics. This is for all my friends who lost somebody very close:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHbtjjkgz2g

The Driver in the Journey of Life

Our parents are growing old and we have to realise this. As we move into their shoes, our responsibility doubles. On one hand, we have to take care of our kids who have still not left the nest. On the other hand, our old parents need more attention.

I lost my father 3 years back on this day, 22nd Aug 2016. When he was with us there were times, I used to get irritated by some of his actions. He was very fond of going to his bank. He had an account in 3-4 banks and would make it a point to visit all 4 of them at least once in a month. I often used to tell him that I can download the app on his mobile and he can check his savings without stepping out. But he was not willing to do it. It was only after he left that I realised why he wanted to visit his bank again and again.

Visiting a bank was a routine

For my father visiting the bank was like an outing. He used to get bored at home doing the same mundane jobs like going for his morning walk, reading a newspaper, watching TV, taking my dog out for his walk, etc. Going to the bank in the car along with my driver was an outing he loved. He would see the new constructions of flyovers, the progress of the metro and the changing landscape.

He would narrate stories to my driver on how 40 years back there was hardly any traffic on the road and how he used to board DTC bus to go to the office. Talking to vegetable vendors in the parking lot and checking on the prices was another favorite pass-time for him.

Experimenting with new brands

Another duty which he performed quite diligently was getting the monthly grocery. We had a fixed shop and every 1^st week of the month he would visit it without fail along with my driver. He would explore all the shelves and at times used to buy a new brand of shaving cream or a new brand of digestive biscuits. On the way back, he would stop by the watch repair shop and get a new strap for his watch or get the battery replaced.

Once in a while, he would visit the Park Avenue Showroom along with me in Lajpat Nagar. He was very fond of Bu-shirt (Half Sleeves shirt). His favourite colours were blue and grey. He would never allow me to pay and would give his debit card to the showroom billing clerk. His favourite shoe shop was always Bata though he loved brands like Nike and Adidas.

Learning’s from his actions

Visiting a bank was a way of ensuring security. The monthly pension credited into his account was an assurance to him that he is still independent.

Going out to Bank was an excuse for Mom and me. He was more interested in getting out to see the surroundings around him. He wanted to see the flowering Amaltas and Gulmohar trees of the city, a city where he had spent his entire life. Though going out regularly was a challenge as he and Mom would get into an argument but in the end, he was always victorious.

Talking to vegetable vendors and discussions with the grocery shop owner were in a way to get updated on things happening around him like what are the current prices of eatables and what are the new brands which have entered the market.

By paying for his purchase like a shirt or trousers through his debit card he used to get the satisfaction that he is still not dependent on his son.

By buying branded shoes or garments he wanted to indicate that he is very much in touch with the changing times.

The Navigator in this Journey of Life

Now I don’t object to any of shenanigans of my mother. She is very fond of cooking and being in a Kayastha family, this is one art form for which she gets a lot of recognition. Her day starts with ideating what she will cook followed by all the preparations. My wife at times questions her over-obsession with food. But then I explain to her that at least this passion is what keeps her going. Cooking and getting recognised for her skills among family members and friend circle is a big driving force for her.

So I will just suggest one thing. Whatever idiosyncrasy our parents may develop with age, its time to understand and respect them. We may be in the driver seat right now but still have to drive carefully in this journey of life. After all, you don’t want to give a jerk to your old parents who are now sitting on the rear seat.

And remember one thing, one day we will also be in the back seat with our kids driving the car. So learn to drive smoothly in this journey of life.

I hope you enjoyed reading this.

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