The Food stain that messes your clothes on the dining table

Getting a food stain on your clothes at the dining table is an art that many people have perfected over the years. I am inspired to write this story as my T-shirt or my formal shirt too often has become a casualty of food stains most of the time. As a result, I tend to become the butt of jokes within my family at the dining table.

But let me just tell you that I am not alone in this unintentional crime. My mom who generally sits on my left-hand side on the dining table also suffers from the food stain syndrome. My kids say that probably getting food stains on my clothes is in family genes. Off-late even my daughter has also joined the club.

Messing on the dining table

Getting food stains on clothes is one of the most annoying acts at the dining table. I come from a Kayastha family of Eastern UP and our daily meal comprises Chapati, Rice, Arhar(tur) dal, and a rasedar sabzi. Salad and dahi are the accompaniments that add to the healthy quotient of the diet. And to make the taste buds swirl we add an achar or pickle to the meal. The achar can be aam, nimbu, or Lal-mirch. The reason I am sharing my meal composition is so that you can understand my predicament of getting food stains too often on my clothes. Dal happens to be one of the biggest culprits.

The Food stain casualty in the morning

It’s 8.30 am and you are rushing to the office. Dressed in an impeccable white shirt and navy-colored trousers your matching tie is waiting desperately to tighten the noose around your neck. The wife reminds you to have breakfast before leaving. You look at your watch as the board meeting in the office starts sharp at 10 am. Your rush schedule allows you a 5-minute breakfast.

With a newspaper in the left hand, you start using your right one to take a bite into the aloo paratha. A little aam ka achar would compliment the paratha bite. Alas, it never happened! The aam ka achar instead of landing in your mouth lands on your white shirt and all hell breaks loose. You will have to change your shirt and may reach the office late. On the other hand, the white shirt on which the achar landed and left a dark yellow stain was a new one and may have to be written off.

When the Silk saree became a casualty at a wedding party

It’s a wedding party and you land up at a farmhouse. The décor and the layout are extravagant. You heave a sigh of relief on seeing a valet service at the gate. Dressed in a black suit you enter the welcome area with your wife. Draped in a magenta silk saree she raises a few eyebrows around. Proud of her latest collection she walks all the way to the hosts as if she is walking a red carpet attending Cannes. You have no other option but just to follow her. After the initial round of greetings, it’s time for a snack break.

Golgappas happens to be the favorite snack counter at any Indian Wedding party. One thing that is still a mystery to me is why the golgappa-walas are so eager to serve the women rather than the men. Anyway, my spouse was on her third round and I suggested that there are more sack varieties that we should try out. Alas, my voice got lost somewhere in the cacophony of the background music. My spouse went for a 4^th round and this one proved fatal.

Golgappas that exploded on their way to the mouth

The atta golgappa was much larger compared to the size of the mouth and could only be savored 50%. The balance landed on her brand-new silk saree. It was a catastrophe bigger than a nuclear explosion. People were running around to help her. There was a person with a glass of water while the other one took out his handkerchief. A lady who was witness to the entire accident suggested that my spouse should not put any water on it and give it to the dry cleaner. Putting water will make the food stain permanent.  For me, the celebration time got over the moment the incident happened. We gave the gift to the newlywed and came back after having a quick dinner.

The Food stain on a flight

One of the most accident-prone areas where you often tend to get a food stain is the economy class of any flight. The seats hardly give you any space to maneuver. And when the Air-hostess checks with you the meal choice – Veg or Non-veg there is no scope that you will refuse. The moment the meal box lands on the seat tray resting partially on your belly your fight for space starts. It seems as if a person staying in a penthouse has been asked to shift to a 500 sqft apartment.

The meal box

The veg meal box has a pre-mix rajma-chawal along with an extra helping of rajma. To sweeten the deal there is also a rasmalai and a pouch of salad. The plastic cutlery is neatly packed in a zip-lock. The Do-it-yourself tea/coffee kit and a plastic cup occupy the precious little real estate on the food tray. Before starting you make room for the meal box to be at a slight distance. You don’t want to take any risk to stain the formal shirt that you are wearing for attending an important meeting the moment you land.

The second bite is just a few inches away from your mouth when suddenly strong turbulence shakes the entire plane. The rajma-rice instead of landing in your mouth lands straight on your office shirt. You curse yourself for being careless. A 200ml water bottle provided to quench your thirst comes to your rescue. There is no other option but to wet the tissue and clean the mess. The shirt loses its virgin look and now carries a slight yellow stain.  You are left with no choice but to attend the meeting in the same shirt.

The Bed-tea stains on your bed cover.

Another stain-prone zone is your bed. There is nothing better in life than to start your day sipping a hot cup of tea in the morning on your bed. Knowing your tendency to spill tea on the bedsheet and the pillow your spouse has provided you with a bedside accessory – a side table. But you tend to sip the tea from the side facing opposite the side table.

There have been an infinite number of arguments on this subject between you and your spouse but there is a stalemate just like the Indo-China border talks. Your spouse has told you several times to sip tea from the cup sitting upright. But being a laid-back personality, you tend to sip the tea with a side resting position.

The only good thing is that this time it’s not your night suit that gets the stain but your bedsheet or the pillow cover.

The major culprits that leave a food stain on your clothes.

A few common food items and the ingredients that leave food stains are turmeric (haldi), oil, tea or coffee, milk, red chili, mint chutney, mango pulp, tomato ketchup, and achar(pickle).

Getting a stain on your character is something that people don’t like but getting a stain on your clothes on the other hand proves that you are a great foodie. Cheers to all the foodies who stain their clothes. Like my nana used to say “Woh aam hi kya jo kapdo pe daag na chore”.

You can enjoy reading more such stories on my blog. Click on the following link:

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