Maid and Madam: Like it or not but they are made for each other

Every morning when my maid rings the doorbell, my pet dog Bruno barks on a full pitch. I have never understood his aggressive behaviour in the morning hours towards the maid. On the other hand my madam is least bothered. The reason is that the moment Bruno starts barking, my madam knows that she can take one last round of sleep peacefully as the eagle(read maid) has landed in the kitchen.

The relationship between a maid and madam is next only to the relationship between a sir and a madam. While madam is responsible for cleaning the earnings of a husband, the maid is responsible for cleaning and sweeping the house. On one hand, the noise created by a daily argument between a husband and wife is jarring; on the other, the noise created by cleaning of utensils by a maid is music to ears.

So why are maids so important for the madams? The reason is that the kind of physical labour involved in washing clothes, cleaning the utensils or the house requires stamina which only a maid has. And remember the maid is performing the same act not only in your house but in 3-4 more houses in the neighbourhood. This the madam of a house understands very well.

It’s not that a madam of the house doesn’t have stamina but all that energy is spent into running a household daily, having arguments with spouse or with a mother-in-law or with kids and so on…..

A maid plays quite an important role in our daily life. Let’s see how they have become such an intrinsic part of our life.

The domestic help and the maid both are the lifelines of a madam

Maids can be categorized into two. Category one is of maids who come to the house daily to perform routine chores like cleaning utensils, washing clothes, sweeping and dusting the house.

The second category is of domestic help. He or she is a person who performs duties like cooking, fetching vegetables and groceries from the neighbourhood market and taking care of your old age parents. He serves food to your parents when you are away to work while also escorting them to a mandir or the central park. Most of the people who have parents staying in a different city like the hometown have only domestic help to look after them.

Maid and Madam: A relationship of love and hate

Maids are iron women. Iron doesn’t mean their will power but the inflexibility in their working attitude which at times makes a madam go bonkers. You will see the madam giving the same set of instructions to the maid daily but the maid is made of iron. She will do the job the way she wants to do it.

All the utensils after cleaning have to be dried properly with a cotton cloth and kept in the drawers or shelf. Kadhai (wok) and pressure cooker in the bottom drawer, mug, and cups in the glass cabinet, plates, and bowls in the middle drawer while glasses in the top one. But this seems like a python coding language for the maid. She prefers doing it her own way, mixing and matching them randomly.

Every day, when the madam enters the kitchen in the morning to make tea she has to spend a few minutes locating the steel pot. As the tea boils in the pot so does the madam. She prepares herself to give a big firing to the maid. But the maid is made of iron. She just listens from one ear and passes through the other.

Absent without Leave (AWOL)

In any organisation, if you go on an AWOL or Absent without leave there are chances that you may get fired from the job. But our iron maids are least bothered about calling and informing that they will be on leave. It’s only when they don’t turn up even after an hour of the scheduled time that Madam presses the panic button. She makes at least 5-6 calls on her maid’s mobile. Calls are even made to the neighbourhood and the security gate to check if the maid has come or not. But all calls go in vain. These days even the police helpline picks up your call in one or two attempts but then maids are different.

The Treaty of Versailles between the maid and madam

The next day is like the treaty of Versailles. The treaty of Versailles (France) was the most important peace treaty that brought World War-1 to an end. Germany surrendered to France, Britain and other powers. Madam is waiting to pounce on the maid as she makes an entry. After all, she should have checked with the madam before taking leave or at least intimated her.

But who cares about madam? The moment the maid enters she tells in a very casual manner that she was not well and her mobile got switched off as the battery drained out. The madam cools down as she knows she has no alternative and signs the treaty of Versailles. Remember Germany is represented by Madam here.

As the peace treaty gets implemented, the maid carries on with her daily chores as if nothing happened. The only thing which bothers the madam is that during the work, the maid gets at least 5-6 calls that she picks up and replies in her native tongue. The Madam passes a snide remark to the maid “Seems that today you have charged up your phone 100 %”.  The Madam is also slightly amused that though the maid speaks tooti-phooti (broken) Hindi language, her caller tune changes every week to the latest Bollywood number.

When Madam and maid are on the same frequency

There are times when the madam is in a good mood. She checks with the maid if she would like to have a cup of tea after the work is over. The maid is an opportunist. She says yes. And then begins the narration of Mahabharata’s story of the colony. The maid instantly updates madam on what all is happening next doors. It’s like an Android phone getting updated every month. The gossips are not only juicy but also sugary as they squeeze in a lot of controversies. The madam needs all this information to pass on the gossips just like the coronavirus to the kitty ladies.

Home Calling

Once every 6-8 months there comes a time when the maid gets ready to visit her hometown. The Madam dreads the situation but is helpless in the absence of an alternative. She approves the leave of the maid with a very heavy heart but with a condition. The maid has to get a temporary replacement.

Things settle down and the maid proceeds on leave. The new replacement takes over the daily chores. The madam again gets busy with her set of instructions. The maid is not supposed to touch Sir’s laptop or disturb the position of the Wi-Fi router while dusting the table. Once the dry and wet sweeping is over, the mats have to be put back in the original position. But the maid is made of the same material. She suffers from amnesia and needs to be reminded every day the same things. It’s then madam realises that originals have no copies and starts counting the days on the calendar on when her maid will be back.

Read more such stories on my blog. Click on the link below:

The Maid of the House controlling the broom

The territorial fight day and night over the Wardrobe

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