Housefly and Mosquito: A never-ending fight

One fine morning there was a territorial fight between a housefly and a mosquito. The dispute was over mosquito biting humans even in the day time. As per the understanding, day time was reserved for housefly while the night was for mosquito.

The dispute went to the lower court and it gave a verdict in favour of the mosquito. The reason given was that the job of mosquito biting humans didn’t interfere with the licking job of a housefly. The housefly community was very upset and asked their leader to file a petition in High court. The housefly leader who had just come back from an assignment of licking the ruling party members took it upon himself. He filed a case in the higher court.

As luck would have it on the day of hearing the lawyers and the police had a big tiff. The housefly leader met the mosquito leader for an out of court settlement. They signed an agreement as per which the first right of licking humans during day time was with the flies after which the mosquitoes can carry on with their biting. The same rules will apply in a vice-versa fashion in the night with the mosquitoes getting to bite first followed by flies.

The day after the agreement between houseflies and mosquitoes

The news spread like fire amongst both the community members. Most of them were not happy. The news had struck them like a demonetization missile. The mosquitoes doubted their leader’s integrity while the houseflies were thinking in terms of replacing their leader.

The mosquito force was having another problem at hand. Apart from the houseflies they had another enemy at hand. The Delhi Chief Minister who was every day broadcasting messages of how he inspects his house once every week for the spread of dengue. The mosquito workforce was demoralized.

The Opportunist Mosquito leader

Seeing an opportunity, the next in command started speaking against the leader. He promised his mosquito brothers that if they elect him his leader he will tie-up with all the hospitals to promote “Aswachh Bharat” (Untidy India) in the country. Mosquitoes will benefit as they will get enough breeding ground for their population to multiply. On the other hand, hospitals will benefit as with more dengue and malaria cases, their bed occupancy will go up.

The news was leaked to the CM of Delhi. The CM noticed an opportunity in “Aswachh Bharat”. It will give him enough ammunition to go against PM Modi who  is promoting “Swachh Bharat” (A Clean India). And anything which goes against PM Modi gives enough pleasure to the CM of Delhi.

The licking housefly versus the biting mosquito

The housefly community was a worried lot. For ages, they have spread diseases like Cholera, Dysentery, Gastroenteritis, and Tuberculosis. Somehow humans have conquered such diseases and they are not life-threatening anymore.  One can also call these diseases of old-world civilization. On the other hand, dengue is a killer disease that has emerged recently in the technology-driven world and can be called the latest generation disease.

Dengue and Malaria are the two most talked-about diseases especially the former. So much is the popularity that most of the political leaders want to be seen in dengue-related ads i.e. How to kill dengue mosquito. Hospitals and Medical fraternity were also keen to promote dengue as it brings a lot of revenue to them. A dengue patient has to be admitted to the hospital and depending on the severity, the hospital gets billing for a week to 10 days. Patients infected by diseases spread by houseflies bring only OPD patients which don’t result in filling up the hospital beds.

The housefly community decided to hire a London based PR firm Canlick Analytica. The firm was recently in news for harvesting the personal data of millions of Facelook profiles. The idea was to run a viral campaign on social media on how diseases spread by houseflies are killing thousands of people in Africa. But one of the housefly member in the selection committee asked why Africa and why not developed nations. The Chairman of the committee replied that since this is fake news, nobody in Africa can check its veracity. But in developed nations, people will immediately come to know that this is fake news.

The next course of action

The mosquitoes decided to go for a change in leadership as the new leader had promised a brand new “Aswachh India” campaign and with support from the local government. They were having high hopes from Aswachh Bharat which will create thousands of breeding ground for them.

The houseflies decided to form a committee and hire the services of Canlick Analytica of London.

Canlick Analytica the PR firm from London

Canlick Analytica was a bit surprised to have been hired by the housefly community. They soon appointed a new team to go and visit the houseflies to understand their behavior and expectations.

The team’s first question to the committee members was how to differentiate between male and female houseflies. The platform on which Canlick Analytica was trying to promote was Facelook. Facelook was very popular amongst females as it was all about gossip and beauty.

The Housefly committee told the team that it was very easy. The housefly which spent more time sitting on a mirror and continuously cleaning her face with hind legs was a female. It surprised the team who thought that only humans had this quality where the females spent half a day in front of the mirrors. The male housefly, on the other hand, is one who spends most of the day licking. He can lick anything – the bosses ass, the cheeks of a beautiful female or the cap of a scotch bottle.

An inquisitive member of the team wanted to know the same information on their competition, the mosquitoes. The answer was simple. Any mosquito which makes an annoying buzz on human ears is a female. Since mosquito females love to talk they can buzz for hours and are irritating in nature. At times they even risk their life but still love to buzz. On the other hand the male mosquitoes are the ones who are just busy biting, working silently and doing their job.

The skills of mosquito and housefly

Canlick Analytica had one last question from the housefly committee. How do mosquito and housefly refresh their skills?

The Chairman replied that both the community keep sending delegates to attend crash courses so as to learn new tricks. A delegate of houseflies recently visited the Congress headquarters to learn the improved art of licking from some senior Congressmen. On the other hand, mosquitoes also send such delegates to the corporate headquarters of several Indian companies. The idea is to learn from the senior management team on how to bite your junior employees without causing any pain.

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