The Story of a Dad who has difficulty in saying “I love you the most”

“I love you the most” is a phrase full of love and emotions often used by kids for their mom or by a mom for her kids. It’s seldom used by a father. There are no such clear rules which say that a father can’t express his love for kids openly. But still, fathers are like that. Instead of calling his son at the college hostel and asking about his well-being, he prefers checking with his spouse that if the son is ok and if he is doing fine with his studies.

Dad are bad in expressing themselves

When a daughter calls from her in-law’s house on father’s phone, he will check on the health of his daughter, son-in-law and the rest of the family and within a couple of minutes hand over the phone to his wife. Surprisingly, the wife will carry on with the conversation for 10-12 minutes. After the call is over, the father will check with the spouse on what was the entire conversation all about? The wife briefs him with a slight sarcasm that he was the one whom the daughter called first so why didn’t he checked with her.

The reason dad couldn’t speak to her daughter for so long was that dads are bad in making a conversation. It’s not that they don’t have feelings. It’s just that they are not able to express their feelings.

Since childhood dads have only learned one lesson that they have to be strong and keep driving the family car. A car in which he is in the driver’s seat with mom seated next to him and kids in the backseat. He has to drive the car in such a way that kids don’t get tired during the journey. Whether it is a highway or a rough terrain, he has to ensure that the kids don’t feel the shock. His way of telling the kids that I love you the most is by playing their favourite song or stopping at their favourite food joint.

When tears rolled down his cheeks saying I love you the most

Recently, in a discussion with my daughter, I was remembering her school days.  How I would drop her at the bus stand every day in the morning and would leave only once she boarded the bus. This was a ritual I followed for nearly 14 years.

I was just narrating to her that the most difficult day in my life was the day when she moved from playschool to primary school. It was her first day in Nursery and she had to board a school bus all by herself. After making her board the school bus, I followed the school bus in my car with my wife just to ensure that she doesn’t get lost in the hustle and bustle of a big school. The moment she boarded the bus, my wife could notice that I was trying to control the tears in my eyes.

The story of “I love you the most” doesn’t end here. The second innings happened when we went to drop our son to an engineering college in the south. It was the first time he was going to be away from the sheltered protection of his parents. My wife was pretty excited about his admission to an engineering college of his choice. Day 1 was for the admission formalities while day 2 was for a goodbye.

The moment both of us left for the airport in a cab, I looked back and could see him waving goodbye to both of us. His eyes were moist but he could hold on to it. On the other hand, the dad was not so strong. After all, he knew that from this moment onwards, his son is stepping into a world that will take him away from home.

The day he touched your forehead saying I love you the most

Remember when you were suffering from viral, running a high fever. It was mom who would sit next to you giving proper medication and hydrating you with juices and soups. She would keep changing the wet handkerchief on your forehead to keep the fever under check. Every couple of hours she will check your temperature with a thermometer.

Dad also wanted to do the same. But his work commitment probably kept him away from you. It didn’t mean he was not worried. Sitting in office he was not able to focus on work always thinking of you. In the evening when he would come back, the first thing he did was to sneak into your room and touch your forehead to check the temperature. He wouldn’t wake you up as he didn’t want to disturb. You may not have realised but that particular day he called mom ten times to check on your health.

Saying goodbye with moist eyes

One of the most difficult times in a dad’s life is when his daughter gets married. As per the Indian tradition, the marriage takes place on an auspicious time generally late in night. Next day, early morning is the time for Vidai (Farewell). A ritual when the family sees off their daughter leaving them and stepping into a new world with her partner.

The daughter is in tears and so is the mother. Dad, standing behind the mother is trying to console her wife and also trying to hold his tears. He tries to hide it as he doesn’t want the daughter to see him in tears. After all, for every daughter dad is the strongest. But he just hugs her and says I love you the most.

The happiest day in dad’s life

I would like to share one of the happiest moments in my life, which still stays in my memory. It was to go and pick the kids from their school unannounced giving them a surprise. I would wait for my daughter and son outside the school gate and would look at their reaction. The moment they saw me, they would come running and give me a tight hug.

A hug is a physical action that signifies I love you the most. Hugs are the biggest energy booster for a dad. One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I never hugged my dad. Dad’s of our times were very strict and would never show their affection openly.  When I was young I was scared of hugging him and when I grew up showing an open affection by hugging was considered inappropriate. The only chance I got to hug him was on the hospital bed while saying a final goodbye. He wouldn’t have felt it but I am sure he knew that I loved him like anything.

So the next time when you are hugging your mom saying I love you the most with dad also standing next, just hug your dad also and say the same. He may or may not say that he loves you the most but look at his eyes and they will be saying “I love you the most”.

Keep reading more such stories on my blog. Click on the link below:

Father the best batsman in the world to play Cricket

The Grandparents and their walking stick standing in a corner

My Papa is the best and will always remain the best