The Bedroom war that often leads to a world war

In a corporate world, we have heard about boardroom wars that often lead to a change in management. But there is another one that often goes within the four walls of a bedroom called the bedroom war. The only difference being that in a bedroom war the management never changes and remains firmly in control of the fair sex.

Boardroom versus Bedroom

The boardroom war is all about profitability, dividend to shareholders, growth, market share, etc. On the other hand, a bedroom war is about bed, bathroom, and wardrobe. A boardroom may have several occupants but a bedroom has only a couple. And this couple comprises of two very contrasting personalities. While one is from Mars the other is from Venus. Incidentally, they both happen to be on Earth tied to each other by the seven vows sharing a common space called a bedroom.

The boardroom war starts with the bruised ego of board members and the CEO. On the other hand, a bedroom war starts with a bruised back when the husband accidentally slips in the bathroom as the wife forgot to wipe the wet floor after using a heavy dose of conditioner.

A bedroom war that starts with a bathroom

The situation though is different on a regular day and the culprit most of the time happens to be the husband. The moment he steps out of the bathroom it seems a tsunami has just invaded the bathroom. There is water all over the floor. The shampoo bottle has taken the maximum impact and is a witness that dad got a call from the boss early in the morning. Lying in one corner of the bathroom it has been squeezed to death. The soap is missing from the pink-colored soap case. It must have slipped in the dark space between the four legs of the storage cupboard. If only dad knew the art of handling the slippery subject, he would have done wonders in the corporate world.

An earthquake that shakes the bedroom

One of the biggest triggers of bedroom wars is the wet towel. Dad has this habit of leaving it on the bed every time he makes an appearance from the bathroom. This is one habit that mom has failed to erase from the hard disk of dad ever since the hardware and software got married. The moment the wet towel lands on the bed, kids can feel an earthquake measuring 8 on the Richter scale. As a result, the walls start shaking and the windows shattering. The blame game starts! Mom complains that the bathroom looks like a warzone every time after dad has taken a bath. The wiper is hardly used while the mirror is full of shaving foam stains. The shaving brush and the razor are left like orphans on the washbasin.

There are few rounds of apology from dad but once the temperature of the other party has risen it’s not easy to cool it down. After all, mom is from Venus which is a hot planet.  The result is very predictable like that of a Bollywood movie. Dad leaves for the office without having breakfast. The kids know that the team members in the office will have a harrowing time as dad has left in an awful mood.

The Bed that can’t accommodate more

It’s 8 pm and dad is back from the office while mom asks him for a cup of tea. From the reaction of both, it looks as if the bedroom war never took place in the morning. Kids are thanking God that peace has returned home without realising that there is a sequel to the morning affair. Dad is carrying back some of the office work. He is a master of multitasking. Resting on the backrest of the bed he has the laptop on his lap. He has the TV remote in the left hand and a cup of tea in the right. As mom is about to leave the bedroom dad asks her to slow down the ceiling fan as he is unable to listen to the news. Mom tells him that he should focus either on the TV or the laptop.

It’s 11 pm and mom is quickly wrapping up the things to retire for the day. She finds dad sleeping so switches off the television. As soon as the television goes on a silent mode the Tiger wakes up questioning mom and on why she switched off the TV and folded his laptop. He still has some unfinished business. A reply from mom on why he brings office work to home starts a non-ending debate.

Digging the past

The parties start digging into the past looking for each other’s mistakes. Dad presents arguments that even with his late office work at least he uses his time in some productive work, unlike mom who spends a lot of time on an unproductive telephonic conversation. Mom counters it by telling him that apart from the office there is another world call home in which he stays and where his contribution is nil except supporting it financially. These days even Venture capitalists have started taking interest in running an organisation apart from investing funds in it. The noise reaches the kid’s bedroom and both of them realise that the sequel to season 1 in the morning has started.

A bedroom war on a Sunday

It’s a Sunday morning and dad is in a relaxing mood. But Mom has already taken an oath of organizing the wardrobe by putting away all winter clothing and taking out the summer ones. Dad is through with breakfast and is now preparing for a siesta after a heavy dose of aloo-paranthas. He enters the bedroom and gets a shocker of his life. The whole bed is covered with mom’s dresses, sarees, winter cardigans, salwar suits.

Dad becomes a bit restless and passes a snide remark saying that this summer give some breathing space to your overflowing shelves. Adding salt to the injury, he tells mom that with so much stuff she doesn’t need to buy new clothing for the next couple of years.

The unnecessary argument

Now with this “ Aa Bail Mujhe Maar” Hindi proverb dad starts a bedroom war that is very uncalled for on a Sunday. Mom tells him that her wardrobes will get a breathing space if dad gets her a new wardrobe. Also if dad can move the 3 winter suits hanging in mom’s wardrobe to his wardrobe she can fit in more of her clothing.

Dad is a bit taken away! After all out of 4 wardrobes in the bedroom, 3 are occupied by mom and 1 by dad. Dad tells mom that she can get an additional wardrobe but only if she splits the double bed into two and moves the dad’s portion out of the bedroom.

A bedroom war breaks again but luckily kids are not at home this Sunday to witness the same.

You can enjoy reading more such stories on my blog. Click on following links to read few:

The Blame Game – Who wins: Kids or Parents

The Maid of the House controlling the broom