My Papa is the best and will always remain the best

I am writing this story during a two-week period called Shradh starting from 13^th September. Shradh is a period of not only remembering but pacifying the departed souls. My journey of life halted temporarily on my 52^nd milestone, when I lost my dad, three years back. I thought what better way to remember him than to pen down few of the memories from my hard drive.

My Papa is the best, is a line, I have often heard from my daughter but surprisingly all throughout my life I could never gather the courage to say the same to my dad. Dads of our times were strict. They would barely speak to you and whenever they spoke, it was only studies. I believe all dads of those times had the same characteristics.

There is a beautiful song by Paul Anka on father. Just listen to it once. Click on the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unE8E581RMc

The man of principles

It’s normally said that education lays down the base on which we grow. Knowledge is like sunlight while every class we attend is like a leaf trying to get the maximum sunlight. As we grow old, we add more leaves, each bringing more nutrition. The nutrition we absorb is the knowledge our leaves soak in the sunlight. Finally, a day comes when we start bearing fruits and become useful for the world. Education is what makes a man but values are what make a man of substance.

Being a student of Allahabad University, my dad came from a very humble background. It was the urge to learn more what finally made him an Aeronautical engineer. Though I was taller to him but when it came to his achievements, I was the smaller one.

Discipline, straightforwardness and honesty were his trademarks but I can say for sure that most of the dads of those times will fall in this category. The reason being that they all had struggled in the post- independence era and became successful by sheer hard work.

Papa is home

The fear we had for our dad was what made us do the right things. And in his dictionary right things meant studies and more studies. The moment he would come back from office, he will find us all (me and my elder sister) sitting on the dining table trying to solve physics numerical. The subjects that he liked the most were the subjects in which I was the weakest – Physics and Mathematics. Incidentally while he graduated in Physics, I graduated in Botany.

In days of non-tutors, we only had one tutor – Papa. And learning from him was never easy, especially when the foot-ruler used to lie next to him. And note that he was quite liberal in using it. I still remember that on my holidays, he would mark 10-15  questions in Hall & Knight Algebra text book. It was an exercise which we were supposed to finish by evening. And one never had to wait for the results. It was immediate! Even before he could finish his evening tea, he would check the answers. My success rate was just 50% even though the book had the answers at the back. But answers were not my solution. It was the steps of arriving on those answers.

I think there was learning for me. However complex a problem is, there is always a solution and to arrive at that solution you need to work on the right steps.

Time comes when he becomes old

It was in his late 60’s and 70’s that papa started showing his emotions all though we always knew him as a no-nonsense guy who never showed his emotions. I realised that with age he wanted to spend more time with us, talk to us and at times even share a smile.

Spending time with his loved ones

Now he used to look forward to my company . Both of us would sit in the morning reading the newspapers. While he started with the HT, I did with the TOI. Both sipping their morning tea and exchanging their newspaper like exchanging notes. During winters both of us used to sit outside in the sun. He busy with his Sunday supplements, while I with my magazine. The space between our chairs was occupied by Bruno, our pet.

The reading sessions were also sessions when he will open up and discuss a whole lot of things like my job, his grandchildren’s education or our Jaypee house (which I had booked). We would also talk about the new tax slabs or his new pension as per the pay commission report. This was probably one of my best times spent with him.

When he wanted to make a conversation

In the evenings when I would come back from office, he will call me and enter my room. He will give me some very ordinary job like getting his tax certificates photocopied or reminding me about a promise of taking him to his friend’s place on a Sunday. During my late-night parties, he would call and enquire if I have started and what time will I come back. If I was returning back from an official tour, the moment I used to switch on my mobile at the airport, the first incoming call was not ‘Wife calling” but “Papa calling”. At times I used to get irritated but made it a point to always answer his call saying “Yes papa I have landed”.

The Disappearing sweets

He was a teetotaler while I was not. He had a sweet tooth and in spite of being diabetic, would sneak in the kitchen at night and gulp a piece from the box. My mother would always complain about the mithai box getting empty every morning.  Being a vegetarian, any dish of aloo (potato) was liked by him. It’s sad that during his last days the things he loved the most were the things he had to keep away like sweets, aloo and rice.

A few lines for my papa

Every journey in our life starts with a hi and ends with a goodbye! But the journey of life never starts with a hi but with a cry and never ends with a goodbye but with a moist eye. You left us some 3 years back without saying a goodbye and in spite of those passing years, I still have that moist eye. Ever since you left, the sun doesn’t shine the same way and the light from the stars seems to fade away. But there is one star which still shines with all the glow, as if saying hello don’t lose heart, I am still watching you from the sky. And tell mom that I am sorry as I couldn’t say her a goodbye.

If you love your papa then make him feel the best

Spend more time with him. He doesn’t need your expensive gifts on birthdays but your time. Go out on a Sunday morning walk with him in the neighbourhood park and give him company. For a change, take him out one of the Sundays to meet his old childhood friend. Being old he is not very comfortable going out in public places. So, avoid taking him to a movie rather watch a cricket match with him at home.

In case he is all alone in his bedroom, go and speak to him. Just tell him what you did in office today. Give him a surprise by throwing a party at home for all his childhood friends.

Let him know he is the best before he goes to rest.

Read few similar stories by clicking on the following link:

The Journey of Life with parents by your side

The Cuckoo’s Nest: Getting the young ones ready to fly in the sky