Don’t cut the cord beta we are still your parents

The day a newborn enters this world the first thing the doctor does is to cut the umbilical cord. The newborn lands in her mother’s lap and thus begins a love story that never ends. The umbilical cord may have been cut but the mother connects with her kids with an invisible cord that is impossible to cut. On the other hand, the father also uses the same invisible cord to connect with his children. At every stage of life, the mother and the father ensure that their child’s needs are taken care of. As a result, the cord linking the children with parents gets stronger day by day.

As children grow parents leave no stone unturned to give them a bright future. From grooming to taking care of their health, from education to emotional support parents are always there. But a time comes when the children leave to make a future for themselves. Some leave for higher education while some leave for a new job. Getting separated from their children is the most painful moment for the parents.

Time to say Goodbye

The day a son or daughter has to leave for an outstation destination the mood of the entire household is somber. Mom is busy packing the son’s bags ensuring he leaves nothing behind. Father is busy with online checking and seeing if the flight is on time. A final goodbye at the airport is teary-eyed. Mom is not willing to leave the airport till she gets a final glance of her son before he disappears into the security check. Dad is making a full effort to control the tears rolling down his cheeks.

The last sentence of mom to her son is to call as soon as you land. From this point onwards life gets connected through a cord. The son has left for the USA for higher studies. Mom is worried whether he will be able to settle well in a country where nobody knows him. And the only way to keep in touch with him is through a phone. She is not able to sleep throughout the night desperately looking at the clock hoping to see the needles running faster than the flight to cover a 20-hour time lag.

The son is also concerned about his parents and calls them as soon as he lands. For the next one week, he briefs them daily on his new apartment and his college. Gradually with time, he gets busy with studies, and the calling frequency declines. Mom has seen cases where children who have settled abroad have cut the cord with their parents. However, dad assures mom that this will never happen with us as our son is too attached to us.

Priorities change in life

Children who have settled abroad get busy with a mechanical life. After completing the post-graduation, a race begins to get a great paying job followed by an H1B visa. The momentum carries on and the next target is a green card and buying a new property. Somewhere in this race, the cord connecting the children with the parents starts getting weak.

The son doesn’t have enough time to speak to his parents though he consults them regularly on all important matters. Mom is worried about why the son has stopped calling them frequently. During his study days, mom used to speak to him every alternate day. Has he cut the cord with us? Dad explains that it is not so. He explains to her that their son is focusing on his priorities right now and once it is achieved, he will have enough time for us.

When the son cut the cord with his parents

But somewhere mom is not convinced. She has seen enough of such cases in her social circle. One of her very close friend recently narrated her story. Mrs. Gupta’s son after completing his computer engineering settled in San Francisco in the USA. He married one of his batchmates in the USA. The marriage was a small affair attended by few close relatives and the girl’s parents who flew from India. The Gupta family couldn’t attend their only son’s marriage as Mrs. Gupta was recovering from a knee surgery.

The Gupta family watched the entire ceremony on a video call. The recording has been uploaded on YouTube and Mrs. Gupta has to just click on the link to watch the entire function. She has watched it several times and every time she ends up with tears in her eyes. She has just one question in her mind. Is her son drifting away? Is he cutting the cord with his parents? The biggest dream in her life was to see her son getting married. She had planned a big function with the entire family gathering for a week-long ceremony. A marriage of her son where the parents will not be present is something she had not ever dreamed in her life.

Today Mrs. Gupta’s health has further deteriorated but unfortunately, her son has not been able to visit her. Ever since the marriage the calls have also become restricted to weekends and that also for only 20 minutes.

The Arora family and the story of their missing son

Mr. and Mrs. Arora were always proud of their son Nikhil’s achievements. He was a brilliant student. One of the top rankers of IIT Kharagpur, Nikhil got admission to Cornell University and he decided to move to the USA for his MS in computer science. There has been no looking back ever since then. He got a great job with Microsoft Azure, the cloud division. He lives in San Jose, California on the west coast. One can see him trekking or enjoying the beach every weekend.

Nikhil used to visit his parents every year during the Christmas break. Over and above, he would make it a point to make a second short visit to his parents. Gradually life moved on. Nikhil got married and now has two children.

The parents look forward to meeting their 10-year-old granddaughter and 6-year-old grandson every Christmas. But with time the frequency of visits changed from once every year to once every two years. Off late, Mr. Arora has started suffering from Alzheimer. Mrs. Arora who herself is now 73 years keeps running around for his treatment. There are times when she desperately wants Nikhil to be standing by them especially in this hour of need.

When mom realised that their son has cut the cord

However, their aankh-ka-taara Nikhil is a changed personality. He told mom that he can sponsor the cost of his dad’s medical treatment and that she should get him treated in the best private hospital. However coming to India in this hour of need is not possible as his wife is also working and both the kids are busy with their schools.

To overcome this painful moment where the son has cut the emotional cord with them she just wished if she also gets Alzheimer. At least, like dad she will also forget everything.

The day Dad left for his heavenly abode

Finally, the 78-year-old Mr. Arora left for his heavenly abode. It was his good karma that he passed away in sleep with a cardiac arrest. Nikhil was informed about his passing away. But sitting in a country that was in a lockdown he couldn’t travel in this hour of grief.

At the cremation ground, it was Mr. Arora’s nephew who lit the pyre. While watching the flames rising Mrs. Arora realized that the cord has been cut and with her husband leaving she is now all alone in the world.

You can read more such stories on my blog. Click on the link below:

The Journey of Life with parents by your side

In the Journey of Life it is always difficult to say goodbye