An invitation to a wedding and an Indian family’s reaction to it

The marriage season is here — **The Great Indian Wedding**

The wedding season is around the corner and be ready to receive an invitation to a wedding. The Auspicious days start from Navratri and will continue till mid of December. Indian wedding requires a lot of planning both on the bride and groom’s side. Apart from this, even the guests require need a lot of time to plan and attend a wedding. An invitation to a wedding enhances the status of an Indian family in social circles. The more invitations a family receives higher its scores on the social popularity chart.

Getting an invitation to an Indian wedding

It all starts with getting an invitation — **Yay! I got a Wedding Invitation**

A wedding card is the first step in getting an invitation to a wedding and carries a lot of weight. Whether a guest will turn up for the wedding depends on how the wedding card has been delivered to him.

A personal invitation along with a box of sweets is the most preferred way of inviting guests. Even if the box of sweet or dry fruit is missing still a personal invitation carries a lot of weight. Sending an invite via a courier or post to a guest based in the same city or a different one followed up by a phone call is the correct protocol.

How not to invite a guest?

A card sent via courier that a guest receives just a couple of days before the function has serious repercussions. The guest may feel insulted and drop the idea of attending the function. Similarly, sending an invite on WhatsApp is not acceptable until and unless followed by a personal phone call. For a VIP guest, a personal invite is the only way to ensure his presence.

How is the guest addressed on the wedding card?

its important to note how the invitation card is addressed to the guest — **When the host forgets to invite the family**

Whether a family will attend a wedding depends on how the card is addressed to them. If a close relative gets a card that only mentions Mr. and Mrs. but no family then the host can expect two drop-outs. The Sharma family was expecting an invite for the entire family. On the other hand, an invitation that mentions the entire family doesn’t mean that every single member of the family will attend it. There are other factors also at play like the wedding date (should not clash with the children’s exam), and the wedding venue (a 5-star venue is always a preferred one over a Banquet Hall).

The invitees are ecstatic if they find their name worthy enough to be included in a guest list for a destination wedding. All the arrangements for the invitees from stay to food to the function are taken care of by the host except the airfare. A destination wedding in Goa or Kerala is good enough to ensure 100% attendance from the invitees.

The guest’s reaction after receiving an invitation to a wedding

Dad is more concerned about who all are attending the wedding — **Dad makes sure that the cousins also attend the wedding**

Once the guest’s family has decided to attend the wedding, each member reacts differently. On one hand, we have kids who are the most excited about the wedding. On the other hand, we have the head of the family whose reaction is muted. Mom is excited but is worried as attending the wedding means a lot of expenses. From getting new dresses to a wedding gift, it entails a lot of money.

She starts counting the number of functions at the wedding. Since it’s a destination wedding there is a mehndi ceremony followed by a cocktail on day 1. Day 2 afternoon is for haldi with the main ceremony in the evening. It means four different occasions and four different attires for all the members.

Dad is more concerned about who all are coming for the wedding. He calls and checks with his cousins if they have received the wedding invitation. The moment he hears a yes, he gets excited. The cousins will be carrying the booze and the plan is not only to enjoy the wedding but also to revisit their childhood days.

An invitation to a Wedding upsets the son as he can't attend it — **Son is upset as due to exams he will have to skip the wedding**

The college-going daughter is pretty excited about the function as she not only gets to display her new dresses but also has a chance to meet with cousins. The son has his class 12^th board exams coming and is in a predicament about whether to attend or not.

An invitation to a wedding means buying a gift

This is the trickiest part of attending a wedding. A gift for a wedding is directly proportional to how close you are to the wedding family. You can fall into one of the following three categories:

The Core family
The Close family and
The Casual family

Close family members get the invite first — **If you are on the family tree you are the first to receive an invite**

The Core family as the name indicates is of immediate blood relation like brothers, and sisters. Close family, on the other hand, comprises cousins and relatives while the casual family is mainly of a distant relative or a friend.

As you move from the core to the casual family the weight of the gift becomes lighter. A gift for a core family member means an item of gold or diamond along with a thick cash envelope.

For a close family member cash is the preferred mode especially if the guest is from the bride’s side. The idea is to help the overburdened bride’s family in whatever way possible. The gift envelope carries cash in multiples of 100 with an extra Rs 100 added to it. So, it can go like Rs 1100, Rs 2100, or Rs 5100.

If the guest’s family happens to be from the groom’s side, then a household item from a table lamp to a consumer durable is preferred. A household item is meant for the newlywed couple who will soon set up their aashiana (home).

A gift meant for a casual family is a perfect example of recycling. From a saree or a bedsheet to a mixer-grinder or a toaster, a guest family passes on a gift item that they had received as a gift on last Diwali. But one has to be careful not to pass an item that has passed its expiry.

The D-day arrives

Dressed up to attend the marriage — **All set to attend a Wedding**

The guest family is all dressed up for the great Indian wedding. After all the protocols were followed by the host family while sending an invitation to them for a wedding. Mom is dressed in a magenta silk saree while dad is dressed in a suit with a sky-blue shirt. The daughter for a change has discarded her mundane jeans and top attire and settled for a saree borrowed from mom. The son has opted out due to his examination schedule.

Just before leaving the house daughter asks the son to take a family picture as well a solo one. Mom gives instructions to son to take a proper picture of daughter in a saree. She has some long-term plans in her mind.

The family arrives at the wedding

Guests arriving at a Wedding — **Hello! We are here for the Wedding**

The wedding is in one of the most happening farmhouses. Valet service is a big relief for dad but mom is pretty unhappy. She and her daughter both are wearing high heels and walking down the uneven surface with a saree will need the skills of a tightrope walker. Dad is quite pleased to see a group of friends standing behind a car in the parking lot. A wedding without a tailgate booze party is always incomplete.

Mom and daughter disappear in the melee of guests. Dad’s party time with friends is short-lived. He gets a call from the daughter that mom forgot the gift in the car and he has to pick it up and bring it to the dais. As dad opens the door of the car, he finds the gift along with the invitation card to the wedding lying on the back seat. And he wonders why all this hullabaloo over an invitation card. A simple phone call from the host was enough.

You can enjoy reading more such stories on my blog. Click on the following link to read a few:

The Great Indian Wedding: It’s time for celebration

A Perfect Wedding Lehenga is a matter of pride for the Bride