Gossip mongers and the impact on Global warming

There is a new serial on Netflix called the “Fabulous lives of Bollywood wives” produced by none other than the Coffee guy who invites famous personalities for free Coffee. The show is purely a masala show or should I say a show of gossip mongers. Gossip mongers are the ones who have provided job opportunities to thousands of people in India. Imagine what would have happened to all the Bollywood gossip magazines and online portals whose only job is to produce content that appeals to all the gossip mongers in the country.

In the year 2016, 195 countries across the world signed the famous Paris Agreement on Climate change. As per the agreement, all the signatories will work towards reducing the global average temperature by 2*C above pre-industrial levels. Every country is committed to reducing carbon emission by reducing dependence on coal-powered power plants, automobile exhaust, aviation, and shipping burning fossil fuel, etc. On the other hand, countries will aim for wind and solar power, electric cars, ships running on cleaner fuels such as LNG, etc.

The one thing the Paris agreement on climate missed was global warming created by gossip mongers. However, the pandemic by default has reduced the emissions created by gossips. Maids have been on leave and as a result  there is no exchange of data. Quarantine has forced people to stay indoors leading to a drop in kitty parties and family gatherings, a major source of gossip-mongering.

The absence of maids in lockdown

The Indian maids are a major source of gossip. Most of the households in quarantine or lockdown didn’t allow the entry of maids. As a result, in absence of maids or gossip mongers, there has been a huge reduction in data exchange. A lot of ladies who were dependent on maids for updated neighbourhood gossip were suddenly left stranded in the middle.

Sharma aunty had seen the next door Mr. Puri watering plants in the day time. She was perplexed as this was the time for Mr. Puri to be in office. So, has he lost his job in the pandemic, or was he working from home. Mrs. Sharma would have confirmed this news in earlier times as the maid was common to both the household. But in absence of the maid, Mrs. Sharma was not able to verify the facts and this led to an increase in her anxiety levels.

The absence of gossips in the neighbourhood has led to a decline in Global warming.

The Kitty parties and the gossip mongers

The Ministry of environment had recently identified kitty parties as a major source of pollution. Apart from the high decibel noise pollution, the heated arguments in kitty parties leads to an increase in global temperatures. As a result, many at the ministry felt that kitty parties should be banned altogether. But there was another school of thought within the ministry. Kitty parties are a great way to increase consumption in a capitalist economy.

The cosmetic industry, the clothing and garment industry, the fashion accessory industry of handbags, and jewellery employ lakhs of people across the country. Therefore banning kitty parties may lead to a lot of industry closing down and lakhs losing jobs. Kitty parties were also a major source of income for the restaurants but ever since the pandemic this business has just vanished.

Kitty parties are a major source of global warming. The heated arguments amongst the ladies over topics like who is the best cook or who is the smartest buyer increases the temperature leading to global warming. Apart from increasing the temperature kitty parties also lead to noise pollution. The decibel levels at times breaks the sound barrier also. The United Nations has taken serious note of this

Marriage gatherings are a pale shadow of earlier times

The pandemic has resulted in limited guests at marriages. The guest list that used to run in multiples of 100’s has got pruned to less than 50. This has become a major bone of contention. Parents of Bride and Groom are breaking their heads over whom to invite and whom to strike-off from the list. As the guest list has reduced from 400 to 50,  the sheer anger of 350 dissatisfied souls has added to global warming.

Marriages were a great place for gossip mongers to create fresh content. The Bua’s and Mausi’s (Aunts) were always looking for that perfect match for their niece and nephews. The welcoming of guests, the decoration, the dinner served were hot topics of debate that would often lead to a rise in temperature thereby adding to global warming. Every marriage would have at least one episode that would arise from a misunderstanding between the groom and the bride’s family. This would often lead to heated arguments. To douse the fire, the elderly from both the families would join hands together and resolve the issue.

With no more family gatherings, gossip mongers have become quiet

Family gatherings are incomplete without a round of gossip

During the pre-pandemic days, there was at least one family gathering every month. The occasion was the marriage anniversary of an Uncle and Aunt or a birthday celebration of a niece or nephew. The ladies preferred a lunch gathering while the gents would add a twist by opting for an intoxicated dinner. The pretext of choice of dinner over lunch by gents was a common one – office work.

Pre-dinner and post-dinner were the sessions for the gossip mongers. Once the meaningful dialogue on kid’s schooling and graduation was over, the sessions turned out to be that of gossips. Absent families would often become targets. The Kids were often surprised seeing their parents turning into gossip mongers. Often the gossips would lead to heated arguments thereby adding to global warming.

Thanks to gossip mongers India will meet the Paris Agreement targets

In a recent G20 meeting on 22^nd November, the PM of India announced that India is not only meeting the Paris Agreement targets on Climate Control but also exceeding them. To sum up the credit of reduction in global warming goes to the gossip mongers.

You can read more such humorous stories on my blog. Click on the link below:

The Right to Fight: Husband-Wife and Article 007

The territorial fight day and night over the Wardrobe

On a serious note:

Greta Thunberg, a 16 year old Swedish girl has taken the fight on Global warming to the next level. Addressing the head of states at a UN Climate change meeting in New York in Sep 2019, she mentioned that you are failing us on climate change. As a result the younger generation will only remember you for your betrayal. Click on the link below to understand more about Climate Change.

https://www.un.org/development/desa/youth/news/2019/09/greta-thunberg/